Category Archives: Relationship Intelligence Formula

Webinar with Jim Cathcart Nov. 18th

Intelligent Motivation for a Challenging World – Webinar with Jim Cathcart

Do you or your team need some Intelligent Motivation? Simple motivation is merely generating enthusiasm. It is occasionally useful and effective but hardly lasting or of strategic value. Intelligent Motivation, on the other hand, is determining what is important, identifying what action is needed and doing what is necessary to generate and sustain that action.

Jim Cathcart, Intelligent Motivation for a Challenging World

Jim Cathcart, Intelligent Motivation for a Challenging World


If you need “Intelligent Motivation” then you need to be on our upcoming webinar, hosted by David Bush, CEO and Founder of as he is joined by Motivation Expert, Jim Cathcart. He is the founder and President of Cathcart Institute, Inc. and one of the most widely recognized professional speakers in the world.

During this 1 hour webinar Jim will speak on how:
– Motivation needs to be intelligently done
– Motivation is about acting on motives
– To determine what matters to you
– To identify ways to get yourself to do what needs to be done when it needs to be done

If a person is not “motivated” to do good work then they probably won’t do it. And if a person has no self-driven motive for excellent performance then they will have to be continually motivated by others. If this sounds like you or your team, you need to be on this webinar!

Jim is known worldwide for his ability to engage, inspire and motivate an audience. He has worked as a corporate executive, training director, entrepreneur, psychological researcher, meeting planner and association executive. He has managed people, products and payrolls for over 32 years. He has also researched and field tested his methods through 3 decades of speaking and training before 2,600 audiences in virtualy every discipline.

Title: Intelligent Motivation for a Challenging World with Jim Cathcart
Date: Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Time: 1:00 PM – 2:00 PM CST

After registering you will receive a confirmation email containing information about joining the Webinar.

System Requirements
PC-based attendees
Required: Windows® 2000, XP Home, XP Pro, 2003 Server, Vista

Macintosh®-based attendees
Required: Mac OS® X 10.3.9 (Panther®) or newer

Space is limited.
Reserve your Webinar seat now at:


Leave a comment

Filed under Behavioral Economics, Books by Jim Cathcart, High-Value Relationships, Inner Circles, Leadership, Relationship Assets, Relationship Intelligence Formula, Relationship Intelligence Training, relationship selling

Beyond “People Skills” to Relationship Intelligence ™

by Jim Cathcart

There must be 100,000 trainers, speakers and authors out there teaching people how to be more successful in dealing with others. And maybe I’m being small minded in choosing such a low number.
All I know is, when I started teaching “interpersonal communication” in the mid 1970s there were very few of us doing so. The Dale Carnegie Course still seemed new to many people despite having existed for a generation. Clients were still surprized when we suggested that they actually teach people how to: listen, communicate two-ways, understand personality differences, and manage tension levels in their communication.
In fact, in 1976 when I joined the National Speakers Association there were only a couple of hundred members. Today they have over 3,600 members. The American Society for Training & Development, ASTD, was also fairly new when I joined them in 1974. They, too, are now an international organization with tens of thousands of members.

So, in light of the fact that there is a multitude of resources to help you learn “People Skills”, let’s take it to the next level. Relationship Intelligence ™.

Premise: Your life is a series of Relationships
Our lives are lived through interactions with others.

Conclusion: If you change the mix, quality or quantity of your relationships then you will, in fact, change your life experience.

So, being more Intelligent about which relationships you develop and which you do not will have a profound effect on the quality of your life.

Complete the following sentence: “It is not what you know that counts, it is…”

Most people would answer: “It is Who you know.”

So, try this one: “It is not who you know that counts, it is…”

My recent audiences have replied, “It is who knows You!”

OK, so far we have been in familiar territory. No news yet.
Complete this sentence please: “It is not who knows you that counts, it is…”

When I ask this in my speeches and seminars nobody responds. They just look puzzled.
“You mean it isn’t who knows you? Then what does really count?”

Here is my reply: “It is who is Glad that they know you that counts the most.”
You see, until others are actually glad that they know you, you don’t have much of a relationship with them. But when you cause others to be proud of the fact that you are their friend, business contact, colleague, neighbor, healthcare provider, sales rep, service technician, or advisor…then you have built a true relationship asset.

I recently did a Tandem Sky Dive from 13,000 feet with a master jumper named Victor. I can guarantee you that, for the duration of our jump, Victor’s welfare mattered as much to me as my own. Some relationships are situation specific while others endure for the long term.

Relationships are Assets…or liabilities.

By knowing some people you open new doors of potential, by knowing others you close those doors. Ask Barack Obama how he feels about having a long-term friendship with Rev. Jeremiah Wright. What may once have been an asset, has in recent months become a profound liability. It matters who we connect with and who we avoid.
Take a look at all of the relationships in your life today and then reflect on which ones are assets and which are not. If you spend more time with the assets and diminish your contacts with the liabilities, then you will have consciously and intentionally enhanced your life.

Those are two very important words: Consciously and Intentionally.
I believe that we need to be more conscious of what is working and not working. As Peter Drucker often said, “Things that are measured tend to improve.” When we stop and reflect on things we notice more about them, and noticing more is the essence of intelligence.
We also need to become more intentional about what we do.
Professionals in every field are more likely than others in that field to make each action intentional. The most obvious of these would be sports and theater. In competitive sports every movement counts. Tennis professionals will tell you that, while awaiting a serve, not only does the placement of your feet matter, but so does where you look. Michael Phelps, the world champion swimmer, often describes how every movement and every thought needs to be intentional in competition. Actors strive to control their eye movement, vocal tones, body language and breathing when on stage. The same things count in business dealings and interpersonal situations. Politicians learn to be intensely aware of how they say things and what the implications of their actions may be.

No, I’m not saying that we need to be “always On”, but rather, I’m observing that the more often we are conscious of what we are doing and intentional in how we do it, the more often we will succeed at our task. To try to be “on” in everything we do would be very stressful and often unnecessary.

But there are levels of control that always must be in play. There are no circumstances where it is OK to do something that is illegal or immoral. So, the more we pay attention the better off we will be.

Who is glad that they know you?

The more names you can list under that heading the more assets you will have. Relationship Assets that is.
What is a “relationship asset?” It is a direct connection with someone else who also considers it important to sustain that connection with you.
Take some time to reflect on that. Make a list of all the connections you can think of in your life and then notice the ones where they feel they are getting good value from the connection.

Did you ever know someone who was really good at “people skills” and yet their success in life was quite limited? How about this, did you ever know someone who often behaved like a jerk but still managed to gain the respect and support of other people who mattered to their success? Sometimes the jerks become highly successful despite their sometimes abrasive behavior.
Note that I did not say “because of it” but rather I said “despite” it.
Bad dealings with others always has a negative effect and the better we become at interpersonal relations the more enjoyable our lives will be. But success isn’t determined by nice dealings, it is determined by right actions at the right times with the right people.

Here are four questions that are at the core of my Relationship Intelligence message:
1. What do you want?
(love, friendship, fun, money, support, opportunity, a contract, etc.)
All relationships are defined by what the participants want from the relationship.
2. Who do you know?
When you know the right people you are in a position to produce the outcomes you desire.
3. What do they want?
The better you understand their goals, desires and dreams the more you can see ways to help them get it.
4. How can you help them get what they want?
Customer loyalty should be what we seek to give rather than what we seek to get. As my friend and mentor Zig Ziglar is famous for saying, “You can get anything you want in life if you will just help enough other people get what they want.”

Take some time to reflect on today’s message. Print it out and carry it with you. Look over it again each morning and think about what it means to you. Do this for at least one month. Then drop me a note and let me know how you have changed things in your life.
Watch for more news on my upcoming book: Who is glad that they know you?
Building High-Value Relationships through increasing your “Relationship Intelligence ™.”

1 Comment

Filed under Behavioral Economics, Books by Jim Cathcart, High-Value Relationships, Inner Circles, Leadership, Relationship Assets, Relationship Intelligence Formula, Relationship Intelligence Training, relationship selling, The Daily Question

Living Fully – on and off the job

by Jim Cathcart

This morning I was invited to speak on the subject of “working hard and still having a balanced life.”
Now there’s a subject I could speak and write about all day long!

Consider for a moment this question: How Fully Are You Living?

You and I have the capacity to live in many ways: mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially, socially, professionally and with our family. Each of these areas requires its own time and attention.

When we neglect or ignore any aspect of our life, after a while it will interrupt the rest of our life to get its needed attention. For example: if you don’t take care of your body, it will break down in injury or illness until it gets the attention required. The same applies to your relationships, your finances and even your intellectual development. When you don’t live fully in that part of your life, it tends to interfere with the other parts of your life.

So our “job” in life is to live as fully as we are reasonably capable of in all life areas.
A way that I’m fond of keeping this on my radar screen is by doing an occasional review of each area and measuring how fully I’ve been living in that area lately. I ask “how fully have I been living in this part of my life lately?” I look at each area and then reflect on recent weeks to determine the appropriate rating. I use a 1 to 10 scale with 10 being highest.

Here’s how it looks:
Mental- 7, I’ve been reading, viewing historical and philosophical shows on TV, discussing important ideas and concepts with respected friends, and journaling my ideas plus reviewing former notes.
Physical- 9, I work out six days a week and two of the workouts are trail running uphill in the mountains near my home with a group of competitive hiker friends. I eat healthy food and don’t smoke.
Family- 8, I’ve spent quality time with my wife each week and with my son’s family and grandchildren. I’ve called Mom every few days and communicated with all of them regularly.
Social- 8, We have been active in community events, spent quality time with friends and entertained in our home often.
Spiritual- 4, I have not attended church recently nor read scriptures or had faith related discussions with many others. (Needs work now.)
Financial- 6, Though I keep good records and manage my money carefully, I have not done any active planning and research in recent weeks. (Plan for a comprehensive review and take action.)
Career- 10, I’ve attended seminars and speeches, collaborated with colleagues, written many articles, done new research, delivered speeches and seminars in several states and explored new opportunities almost daily.
Emotional- 9, I’ve played guitar and sang for 1/2 hour daily, learned a dozen new songs, been to movies and concerts, lectures and plays, told jokes and laughed with friends, relaxed and savored the beauty of Spring all around me and attended my grandson’s ball game. There is much joy in my life.

Now it may be obvious to you that I have much room for improvement but I hope it is also obvious that I’m conscious and intentional in the way that I live my life. I don’t let much time pass before I address each area of life to assure that I’m living with balance and variety. How about you? What numbers would you place in each area and why?

That was step one; the evaluation of your current reality. How you are living right now. For step two you will need to make plans and prepare to take actions. This begins with a new question:
What do you want?

Until you know what your Desired Outcomes are you won’t be ready to begin. Take some time right now and ask yourself what results you’d like to see in each of these life areas. What can you reasonably expect yourself to do to address each area more effectively? Describe in writing what you can do to expand your numbers for the better.

When you know what you want in each area the best way to begin is by selecting the first steps. Commit to step one and your journey is underway! I call these your “Minimum Daily Actions.”
You determine the least you could do to begin building momentum toward ideal actions and results.
For Mental improvement you might simply read one page of a book each day. That should get you started and you’ll likely read much more once you’ve begun.
For Physical, you might simply commit to putting on your workout clothes daily. Once dressed your chances of exercising will increase a hundredfold.
For Family, you could commit to asking each family member one question today and then fully listen to their answers.
You get the picture. Which ever area you are focusing on, focus fully and commit to begin action.
The reason most people live unbalanced lives is because they don’t manage their attention and then their actions intentionally.
Be more intentional in everything you do. Start by becoming more conscious of what you currently do or don’t do, then select your Desired Outcomes and commit to taking Minimum Daily Actions to get things rolling. What you will find is that your life becomes immensely more satisfying and your sense of control over your life will grow.
You were put here with a world of potential, please use all of it so that the rest of us can benefit from your contributions as you do from ours.
In the Spirit of Growth,

PS if you’d like more on this topic, check out my book The Acorn Principle in print or audio CD.

1 Comment

Filed under Books by Jim Cathcart, High-Value Relationships, Relationship Intelligence Formula

The Basis of Relationship Intelligence ™

From: Jim Cathcart

Here’s my newest and most exciting speech topic and the subject of an upcoming book I’m writing.


Intelligence (tm)

How to Select, Develop & Sustain

High-Value Relationships ™

Build Stronger Teams,

Make More Sales,

Strengthen Customer Loyalty,

Motivate Yourself and Others,

Get More Done!

New insights into the Science, Psychology & Economics of Business Connections

A new book for 2008 by Jim Cathcart with David Ryback

The Basis of Relationship Intelligence

Relationships are Assets: In any setting, relationships are assets, both business and personal. As such, they can and should be created, managed, nurtured, measured, and even discontinued, intentionally and consciously.
It’s All About Who Cares: Business cannot exist in the absence of relationships. The stronger the relationships, the more potential for success in the business. It’s not who you know that counts; rather it’s who is glad that they know you. The more they care—whether the “they” are associates, prospects, customers, vendors—the greater the potential for success.

Relationships Comprise the Business: The business is not the stuff, it is the relationships between the people: It then follows that the business exists whenever and wherever two or more people communicate to achieve the desired outcome. This applies to virtual businesses as well. A “virtual” business may have no brick-and-mortar “home” yet be highly successful. But it must have a relationship network of individuals focusing on a desired outcome. So, focus on the relationships when you want to grow the business.
The Rules of Engagement Depend upon the Desired Outcome: When the purpose of a relationship changes, the expectations and “rules” that apply also change. In that sense, the purpose defines the nature of the relationship, which holds true until the purpose or desired outcome is met. Then that particular relationship ends, or transforms into a new one that is driven by a new purpose. Therefore, the purpose, or desired outcome, gives meaning to the relationships.

The Desired Outcome Defines the Business
: All relationships can be evaluated with regard to the desired outcome, which may be as simple and seemingly rules-free as casual friendship or as complex and legally binding as the organization of a federal institution. A marriage contract is one that overlaps broadly between personal and legal aspects of a relationship. The success of a business relationship always refers back to the desired outcome, which might change over time, requiring ongoing revaluation.

The Key to Success is the Inner Circle: Any business, including “mom-and-pop” operations, is run by a select few, which we refer to as its “inner circle.” Inner circles, those committed to reaching the desired outcome, are the key to the success of any business. The Relationship Intelligence within the inner circle is of utmost importance, for without an effective inner circle, the business will not succeed. The potential for success of any business can accurately be predicted on the basis of the Relationship Intelligence of its inner circle.

Relationship Intelligence Works @ Work: Fortunately, Relationship Intelligence is learnable. Skills for self awareness and self leadership, understanding and communicating well with others, and adapting to changing situations and differences in people are all known processes and proven wisdom. So, even the least relationship intelligent among us can learn to become better.

The Formula for Relationship Intelligence, increasing the RI Factor.

Here is The RI Formula (c): RI = A + P / DO

Awareness + Performance over Desired Outcome

(The greater the desired outcome is, the more important it is that your awareness and performance are at a high level.)
Both Awareness* and Performance** need to cover the three areas of “SOS”: Self, Others and Situation

*Self Awareness, Others Awareness and Situational Awareness
**Self Expression, Hearing Others and Adapting to Differences in Situations and People

Awareness and Performance when displayed as a grid produce four Modes of Operation (MO). It is vital that your mode matches your desired outcome. For example: if you want a doctor to heal you, then you must assume either the Passenger or Navigator mode and let the Doctor do his or her job. But if you want to lead a team to victory then you must assume the Leader mode. (Or Driver mode if someone else is calling the plays.)

High Awareness and High Performance = Leader mode (simply needs opportunity)

High Awareness and Low Performance = Navigator mode (needs motivation)

Low Awareness and High Performance = Driver mode (needs education)

Low Awareness and Low Performance = Passenger mode (needs education & motivation)

In any group there is an Inner Circle that determines its direction.
This is displayed as a wheel with you at the center and the members of the circle around you on each spoke. Seeing all the key relationships in a “sociogram” format like this allows you to keep the relationships in perspective. The Inner Circle model shows three vital elements: The players, their relationships and the mix of possibilities they bring to the circle.
Once you identify and assess the Inner Circle, you can estimate the success potential of the entity.

In summary, it is all about the relationships among the Inner Circle. Once you have the right Inner Circle identified or created then by focusing on increasing the RI factor in each relationship you will have tapped the potential for that to become a High-Value Relationship for you.

MUCH more to come. Your feedback is welcomed.


Jim’s Blog:

Leave a comment

Filed under Relationship Intelligence Formula